Do I really believe in life?

My work mom is in hospice right now.

I was late. For a meeting with a visiting deacon who drove in from another parish. I was getting dressed when her FaceTime came through. Praise the Lord that I accepted and could see her. The kids and I talked and joked and smiled and told her we loved her. Thank you, Jesus, for the call and that I stopped my rush to answer.

If only I had stopped my rush sooner so she would know that she showed me how saints lived in the real world. I would have thanked her for every time she slid into the pew next to us to help with the kids at Mass. I would thank her for never rushing me out of her office and letting a simple “how are you?” turn into a hour long conversation. I would thank her for sharing her great suffering, but always astonishing me with her great faith despite it. I would thank her for every moment and every prayer.

Now, I send those prayers back her way. I try to remember to pull out of my grief of imagining life without her. I think of how much she needs me to cheer her on.

She is finishing the race! And has run so very well!

This is her time! Instead of saying, “No!” I have to remind myself that this is the goal. I’m sad because I want her to live– but I forget that’s what she is doing, and doing it well! She’s entering into everlasting life, with no more pain and suffering, where we will be all together with all our needs met. I just haven’t quite caught up. Reflecting on this makes my prayer change, and I’m changing, too. She always has a way of breaking through my mess and pointing me in His direction.

Pray with me right now, ok?

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Kristin Forbes says:

    I am so praying with you and am so saddened to hear this news. Ginger is such an amazing person …… I just have no words.

    Like

  2. So sorry, Nicole. Ginger, pray for us and I will be praying for you.

    Like

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